Rebirth
by SaJi
Summary: The Kakkai has been raised and the world saved, but that is only the beginning. Yaoi FumaKamui DragonKamui


**Disclaimer**: I am not CLAMP. Does that suck, or what?

_A/N:_ Well – what can I say? I had a funny dream after sitting down and watching episodes 9-24 of X one after another and it made such an impression on me I decided to write it. 

This fik takes place after the final episode of the series and both Fuma and Kamui are _alive, _mainly cause I refuse to accept such a suck-y ending (I'm not even going to go _in_ to how much the movie sucked).

Also. *Bounce* My _very first_ PWP (Actually, after much deliberation with 'Ji-chan' it was decided this couldn't really be called a PWP so we got creative and have labelled this the very first PWPOTP). And also so SAP-y you may die. I think I died writing it -_-; I'm an angst/humour writer. SAP does _not_ come easy to me.

**Warnings**: Graphic description - Non-con – Yaoi – PWPOTP(Plot? What Plot? Oh! _That_ Plot!)  – SAP – Dark – Possible OOC 

**Rebirth****:**

"The Dragon of Heaven is _finished_!"

The Holy sword of the Dragon of Earth flashed as it dived with deadly accuracy, jolting Kamui's already injured body as it punctured through skin and muscle, slid smoothly between his ribs, pierced his heart and then exited out through his back; blood flying from the wound with the force of the blow in perfect accompaniment to the rivulets that coursed down his chin.

Silence. The world stilled at this one point – holding its breath in the shock realisation that the Dragon of Earth had won.

Kamui stood still, the pain from his wound thrumming through his entire body, and then he hardened his resolve. Lifting his head, his eyes opened slowly to gaze at seeming nothingness; his vision on something more important and further off than his immediate situation.

"Fuma… I understand." A sweet, sad smile found its way onto his face, "Finally…how I'm going to bring you back."

"I am the Dragon of Earth's Kamui!"

Kamui's eyes lifted and he gazed up at the man he would always consider closer than a brother and dearer than any friend, and smiled through the pain, closing his eyes. "That's fine as well. I…wanted to…protect you…along with this world."

The Dragon of Earth glared downwards at the serene boy, "But…you will only die and be forgotten. And then the world will begin to change."

Kamui's arm lifted, gliding through the air to settle on the Dragon of Earth's chest, above his heart. "I will not be forgotten. Because I will always be inside…your heart."

Kamui opened his eyes again to stare at Fuma for the last time and nearly staggered as his vision swam. _What?_

Distorted. Everything around him was becoming distorted, fading out. Colours where running together, draining as if from a rain drenched piece of newly dyed fabric. Fuma's face swam in and out of his vision, coming closer and then fading away. His eyes. The picture focused and it was the old Fuma, the way he should be, worried eyes staring down at him, his lips moving as they formed a question. And then Kamui's focus moved and it was the Dragon of Earth; eyes glinting with sadistic cruelness as he twisted the sword that still rested in Kamui's chest.

He cried out.

"Kamui? _Kamui_?! Wake up! It's alright now. Wake up, Kamui!"

Familiar voice. But it couldn't be. 

"Kamui! Look at me! Kamui!"

Kamui's vision swam again, but he tried to focus. The familiar voice, that shouldn't be, was coming from in front of him. Kamui blinked and his eyes suddenly focused sharply - the eyes staring into his, from barely inches away, painfully familiar. "Fu…Fuma?"

"Kamui!" Fuma's relieved sigh sent a breath of warm air onto Kamui's cheek before the other man backed up slightly to gaze at the smaller boy speculatively. 

"Fu...Fuma…" Kamui struggled with the hands that were resting on his shoulders, effectively pinning him to the bed he was laying in. "You're okay. Fuma, you're…"

"I'm fine, Kamui. I…" Suddenly Kamui was wrapped in a tight hug, "I'm fine." 

Kamui tensed, a sudden pain shooting through his shoulder, making him groan aloud. The warmth of the hug was instantly gone.

"Kamui? I'm sorry. I forgot. Here sit up, I'll check your wounds." Faster than his still sleep-fogged mind could process, Kamui was sitting upright and gentle fingers were unwrapping the crimson stained bandages that covered his entire chest and left shoulder. Once or twice he hissed in pain as the bandages caught on healing pieces of skin, but every time the gentleness of Fuma's touch soothed the pain away. 

The bandages were removed in silence, apart from Kamui's hisses of pain, and then his quickly drawn in breath when the wounds were revealed. Parallel slices, where the Dragon of Earth had stabbed him first through the shoulder, and then through the chest. Kamui closed his eyes as the memory of the second thrust played over in his head. The sword had pierced his heart. He should be dead.  

It was a moment before he realised he'd uttered the words out loud. Fuma's gentle touch became painful for a brief moment as he tensed, and then relaxed again.

"I wouldn't let that happen." The man murmured and continued in his task of cleaning the fresh blood from Kamui's shoulder.

"But…" 

Fuma's attention suddenly shifted. His hand came up to cup Kamui's face, his thumb smoothly caressing his cheek and his eyes pinned to the smaller boy's intently, "I said I would protect you; no matter what. That was my promise."

"But…" Kamui was nearly loosing himself in Fuma's eyes, "But the Kekkai…"

Fuma nodded, a smile pulling his lips upwards, "You entrusted your wish to the Dragon of Earth, and he filled it. Your Kekkai protects the earth, and I was released… And then I fulfilled my promise."

"H…how?"

Fuma's fingers drew down Kamui's cheek to his chin, caressing him, "I wished that you would live."

"You wished…?"

Fuma smiled again and, brushing his thumb gently down Kamui's cheek again, he went back to cleaning the boy's wounds before re-bandaging them.

Fuma had…wished that he would live and the wish was filled; he was alive. A slight tug notified Kamui that his wounds had been completely re-bandaged and he turned to stare at the man who had somehow given him back the life the boy had been willing to sacrifice.

"Everything's really alright now? The others…?"

Fuma turned from where he'd stood and moved to a washbasin to clean the blood from his hands and nodded, grabbing at a towel to dry them, "They are all recovering from what happened. Even," a flash of regret flashed over Fuma's features, "that man, Subaru. His wounds weren't quite as bad as yours."

Kamui nodded in relief, his eyes still pinned to Fuma as the tall man walked back towards the bed and sat on its edge. The Dragon of Earth was gone. _Gone_. He was no longer there, in Fuma's eyes. The one who looked out of those beloved features was the one who had the right too. Not the one who had hijacked the body to perform his 'duties' as Kamui's Gemini.

"Kamui…" Fuma's voice was gentle, his expression worried, "You should rest now. Sleep so you can heal."

Kamui shook his head. He didn't want to look away from the man. Wanted, _needed_, too see that it was really over. The Dragon of Earth was gone, and he wouldn't be coming back.

"Kamui…"

"Not yet. Later, but not yet." 

Fuma hesitated and then nodded, "Do you want something to eat?"

Kamui shook his head.

Silence descended on the room again, but it wasn't uncomfortable. 

Kamui simply watched Fuma. The man sat, a small smile on his face that shone just as brightly from his eyes. A moment later the smile turned to a frown of worry.

"Kamui? Are you alright?" Instantly he was wrapped in Fuma's arms again, his head resting comfortably on the man's shoulder.

"I…I…" There was wetness on his cheeks. That was why Fuma was holding him, because he'd started crying. Kamui lifted his hands and twisted them into the front of Fuma's shirt, turning his face till it was buried against the man's neck.

"Shhh…" Fuma stroked his hands up and down Kamui's bare back slowly, careful of the smaller boy's shoulder, and murmured assurances in his ear. 

"I…I'm sorry." Kamui managed to choke out. The sound disappeared into Fuma's shirt as a hand came up and began to lightly stroke his hair.

"Its alright…" Fuma murmured again, pulling the other boy closer to him and lowered his head slightly, tracing his lips lightly across his neck.

Kamui froze. 

"Kamui?" Fuma pulled away slightly, "Kamui?"

Kamui's eyes were wide, his grip on Fuma's shirt suddenly white knuckled.

_It's alright, Kamui. _ That voice. Saying those words. Another time, but then it had been the Dragon of Earth wearing Fuma's body. _It's alright…_ Not comforting at all. The only emotion that came with those words was cruelness, cruelness and teeth.

"_Kamui_?!" 

Kamui blinked as he was shaken lightly and looked at Fuma's worried expression.

"Kamui? What happened? Kamui?"

"I…I'm fine. I'm fine." Kamui managed to choke out and smiled apologetically. "I'm sorry."

Fuma's hands came up and cupped Kamui's face, tangling his fingers in his hair and he pulled him closer, "What happened?"

Kamui's eyes went wide. He felt like he was drowning in Fuma's eyes, "I…noth…nothing." It was like with the Dragon. He was paralysed, helpless to respond. But this time it was Fuma. This time the gaze pinning him in place was gentle, and worried.

"Kamui…"

Kamui tore his eyes away from the look and stared down at the bedspread, lifting his hand to rest against one of Fuma's wrists, "I'm fine. Really. I just… I was just thinking of something. It's nothing."

"Nothing…?" Fuma slipped his hand from Kamui's cheek and lightly grasped his hand, bringing it to his lips. "Tell me."

Tell him. How could Kamui tell him? Tell him that every one of his actions was following a ghost trail in his mind that had been left there by none other than himself; a trail that always led to nothing but pain, mental and physical. How could he tell the man that?

He couldn't. So he lied.

"I'm just thinking about the fight… About the others."

Fuma's lips trailed over Kamui's fingers lightly, but his eyes stayed on Kamui's, capturing them again, even as the boy sort to look away.

"You're safe now, Kamui." Fuma pulled Kamui's hand from his lips and rubbed it lightly with his cheek. "I'll protect you…always."

Kamui shivered at the words, curling his fingers against Fuma's cheek. He wanted to believe him, to put his full trust in the words but…

"You see _him_ don't you?" Fuma asked quietly.

Kamui started slightly, guiltily and Fuma planted another brief kiss on the boys finger tips before letting the hand go in favour of wrapping his arm around the others waist and pulling him closer.

"You look at me and see the Dragon of Earth. The one who…" Fuma trailed off, looking pained as snippets of memory floated into his mind, and his grip on Kamui's waist loosened, his other hand dropping from the boys' cheek to rest in his own lap. "I wouldn't _hurt you Kamui."_

"I know!" Kamui leaned forward, ignoring the sharp pain that stabbed though his shoulder, and gripped Fuma's arm with his right hand. "I know you wouldn't hurt me, Fuma. I…I just…"

"See him." Fuma finished for him softly and grasped Kamui's free hand with his own. "You see him when you look at me, even though all I want to do is protect you from it. I want to banish the memories of what he did to you, but I don't know how…"

"Fuma…" Kamui tightened his grip on Fuma's hand and letting his other arm slip around the man's back, buried his face once again in his shoulder.

"I'm sorry, Kamui. If I could undo what he did…" The apology was whispered into Kamui's hair, and the boy turned his head slightly so his forehead rested against the man's neck.

"Fuma…I…"

Warm lips covered his and he let out a startled gasp, pulling back slightly. The kiss was strong and warm, familiar; yet completely different. Fuma tasted like the Dragon had – but it was different somehow. The kiss wasn't the forceful, invading, savage kisses that he was used too. It was slow, testing. Strong - but ready to pull back as quickly as it had started.

His eyes drifting shut, Kamui leaned into the kiss, letting it grow deeper and enjoying the unfamiliar sensation of protection it gave him.

Fuma's name passed Kamui's lips in a breathy rush as the other boy's lips moved from his mouth and lightly brushed along his jaw.

"I'm sorry…" Fuma whispered the apology - for the kiss, or for the entire situation, Kamui wasn't sure - and brought his hand up to brush his fingers along Kamui's cheek and loosely took hold of his chin; his lips still, just barely, brushing against Kamui's jaw.

"I thought about you so much, missed you so much, while you were gone – then you came back and _this_ happened. It isn't fair."

Kamui nodded a little, his attention focused on the soft lips brushing against his skin with every word Fuma spoke instead of trying to make sense of what was being said.

A puff of warm air heated Kamui's jaw as Fuma sighed and then, dropping his hand, he moved away slightly, looking at the boy's still closed eyes. He wanted him so much. Wanted to touch him; reassure himself that Kamui wouldn't fade away, wouldn't disappear like he had when they were younger. Fuma understood, much as he wished he could deny it, why the Dragon of Earth had found Kamui such an irresistible source of 'entertainment'. He had no doubts that it was because of his own affections for the younger boy. He wouldn't deny that he loved Kamui, and that love hadn't been able to become hate, even with the Dragon of Earth in charge of his body – so instead it had twisted. Become something obsessive, possessive; something that tortured the one it was directed at. It caused nothing but agony. 

"Kamui…" Hand lifting again, Fuma lightly traced his fingertips across Kamui's eyelids, down his cheek, his jaw and back to his chin. 

As Fuma moved his hand downwards, Kamui sighed, letting himself lean into the caress and then slipping back into Fuma's arms, gripping the man's white shirt in his fingers and once again burying his face in the space between the mans neck and shoulder.

Fuma was warm; his body, his breath, his smile, everything about him. It made Kamui want to sink into his arms, and stay there, feeling the rise and fall of the other's chest as he breathed, feeling his heart begin to beat in rhythm with the one so close to his.

"You should sleep now." Fuma said softly a small smile curling up the edges of his lips as he noticed Kamui's eyes beginning to drift closed.

Kamui moaned; a soft sound in the back of his throat designed to voice his complete dissatisfaction with Fuma's comment without having to actually move enough to talk.

Fuma felt the sound more than heard it, a soft vibration against his chest that somehow seemed to spread through his entire body. He suppressed a slight shiver and tightened his arms briefly around Kamui, then pulled away and pushed the boy backwards so he was lying back against his pillows.

"Sleep." This time his tone brooked no argument and Kamui didn't protest, simply watched the other man as the covers were tucked around him again. Then Fuma rose to leave.

"Don't go." Kamui struggled to sit up again, but was halted by the hand that appeared on his undamaged shoulder.

"You need to rest."

"I don't want you to go." Kamui said firmly, brushing aside how tired he was and pinning Fuma's gaze with his own, trying to show him how much he didn't want to go to sleep alone.

Fuma sighed and smiled. The smile that Kamui had been missing for so long, that he'd barely had a glimpse of when he'd returned; before everything had gone wrong. 

"I'll stay if you sleep." Fuma promised, and Kamui nodded, falling back onto the pillows again and letting Fuma stretch out beside him and wrap an arm lightly around his waist.

Turning slightly, Kamui tangled his fingers in Fuma's shirt again and then closed his eyes. Moments later he was drifting into sleep.

----

"Kamui~"

Hazy. Dark. Exhausted. Sore. Aching. Confusion.

"_Kamui~~_ Wake up now, Kamui." 

Warmth. Breath. Touch. Lips. Sensation.

Lips trailing briefly along his skin, brushing against lips, chin, jaw, throat, neck, collar bone.

Hands moving along him in light caresses, running along his bare stomach, moving up his sides, tracing his ribs, his chest, resting on his shoulders.

"My Kamui…so sleepy. Come now, open your eyes."

Smooth hands cupping his face, fingers twining in his hair, soft lips brushing across his eyelids. Warmth radiating from above him, a sense of presence then a body settling over his own; pressing down on him comfortably. 

"If you don't wake up Kamui, I'll have to wake you…"

Familiar voice. Soft. Gentle. Trusted. Fuma.

Hands. Running along his shoulders, down his arms and taking his hands, twining their fingers and moving his arms above his head, crossing his hands at the wrist. One hand stays, gently holding him in place, the other moves back down to trace down his bare chest.

Lips brushing across his lips again, down his jaw to his neck, teeth nibbling lightly at the skin there.

Teeth.

Fear.

Not Fuma!

Chuckling. 

"So now you're awake, my Kamui. Well it's too late now, you should have woken when I told you too." 

Teeth, no longer gentle.

Pain. 

Kamui wrenched his eyes open, staring upwards at an unfamiliar, battered ceiling. He tugged on his hands, testing the grip that was on them and then, finding them almost impossible to move, tried to twist out from under whoever was pinning him. He refused to look. He couldn't. 

It wasn't Fuma. It felt like him, but that's not who it was. Fuma would never…

_Pain._

Kamui's struggles stopped abruptly as the teeth left his neck and a face blocked his view of the ceiling. Dark brown, nearly black, fringe hung framing red/brown eyes that seemed to bore into his soul. A benign smile, the edges tilting upwards into an almost-smirk, shining down at him. 

It _was_ Fuma.

It was _Fuma_.

"F…Fuma..?"

No! It wasn't Fuma. Fuma would never… Would _never_… 

The Dragon of Earth, it was the Dragon of Earth.

"I am Kamui." The Dragon informed the boy, and brushed another, feather light kiss across his lips.

Kamui began to shake, a small whimper, low in his throat, making the Dragon's smile a little wider.

"Shhh…" The Dragon's lips descended again, this time to flick his tongue across Kamui's lips then trail kisses downwards to once again lay attention to the boy's neck, his free hand lifting from where it had rested to almost imitate his lip's actions; trailing first along Kamui's throat, down to brush across one hardened nipple, further downwards tracing the trembling muscles of the boy's stomach and down further.

Kamui abruptly realised he, and the Dragon, were completely naked. There was absolutely nothing to protect him from the Dragon's relentlessly _knowing_ touch.

He wanted to struggle, wanted to wrench himself out of the arms of this familiar stranger and run as far and as fast as he could. But he couldn't.

The Dragon's touch was gentle, _caressing_ as his hand slipped slowly down and brushed lightly over the sensitive skin below his navel, making Kamui shiver. 

_This is the Dragon of Earth!_  His mind was screaming at him, begging to be heard.

_No – this is Fuma…_ His body ignored the pleas of his mind, arching up slightly into the slight touch, his breath hitching at the movement.

The Dragon simply chuckled, his tongue flicking out to trace the red marks he'd placed on Kamui's skin as his hand moved still further down, tracing the lines of the boy's body, resting briefly on his hip then continuing it's journey, sliding across the smooth skin of Kamui's thigh and pausing, settling lightly on the tense muscles above the boy's inner thigh.

"You like this, my Kamui?" The Dragon's voice was silky smooth, his lips brushing over the sensitised skin on Kamui's neck. 

Above his head, Kamui's hands curled into tight fists as he tried to keep his breathing under control. 

"St…stop. Fuma, please…stop."

"Stop?" The Dragon's voice was amused, quizzical. "But you're enjoying yourself so _much_, _my_ Kamui."

"_No_! No…stop!" Kamui's voice quavered. This wasn't right, this wasn't Fuma; he had to stop him. 

He wanted too, he truly wanted too. His body trembled as he fought to convince himself to move, to rip his hands from the Dragon's confining grip and get away. And the Dragon moved. 

Tracing his fingers up along Kamui's inner thigh, lightly skirting around the hapless boy's growing erection, moving upwards again over hip and waist, then planting his hand firmly on the floor and pushed himself up onto his knees, his weight mainly on the hand that still held Kamui's wrists hostage.

His smile still in place, the Dragon reached up and gently gathered a few of the tears that had begun to trail down his captive's cheeks with his fingers, and lifted them to his lips, tasting the salt with his tongue. 

"So sad, my Kamui? Why so sad, when you're getting what you want?" Leaning down, the Dragon traced the tracks of Kamui's tears with his tongue, his lips, till he was nose-to-nose with the boy. "I see your Wish. You want me, so why resist?"

Kamui was already shaking his head, "No…" 

"No?" The Dragon's smile finally curved upwards the final distance it needed to become the smirk it had promised to be, "No…?" Deliberately, the Dragon moved, forcing a knee between Kamui's thighs and leaning into the boy; hard.

Kamui groaned, his hips bucking up off of the floor, into the friction that was setting his groin, his entire _body_, on fire.

"Isn't this what you _want_, my Kamui?" The Dragon purred the question into Kamui's ear.

It was a struggle to think, to stay coherent and ignore the fire that raced through his veins. He knew he was crying, sobbing desperately as he tried to stay in control, "N…_no_!"

_Pain._

The Dragon's eyes flashed instantly at the unsatisfactory answer, his free hand wrapping around Kamui's throat as he brought his face in close to the boy's again.

"This _is_ what you want." The man growled and tightened his grip, smiling at the choked sobs Kamui issued as he tried to breath through the tightness of his throat, from the Dragon's grip and from his own crying. "You shouldn't lie to me, _my_ Kamui. I can tell."

For a second time, the Dragon pressed his knee between Kamui's thighs, pressing up against the boy's erection and his hips rose again, this time almost being strangled from the tight grip on his throat as he gasped for breath and tried not to moan.

He couldn't breathe. His mouth was open, gasping to get as much oxygen into his lungs as he could, as the Dragon continued to move his knee against him. His vision was beginning to go black around the edges and spots were covering his vision. He was going to die. He was going to be strangled to death by the Dragon of Earth as the man molested him, before he could even figure out how to save Fuma from his _possession_. 

And suddenly he could breathe. Choking at the sudden release of his windpipe, Kamui gasped in lungful's of air and tried to get his vision to stop swimming. It wasn't till he'd brought both his hands down to rub at his smarting neck that he realised the Dragon had released him completely. Snapping his eyes open, Kamui glared upwards at where the man was standing over him, his slight half-smile back in place.

The smile scared Kamui. It was faint, gentle, almost loving. 

"Kamui…" The name was laced with affection. "Do you want to leave, Kamui? You'd have to kill me." 

Slowly, the Dragon of Earth lowered himself, so he was crouching by Kamui's side, and took one of the boy's hands, placing it over his heart. 

"A single strike, Kamui."

The tears were flowing again; he could feel them renewing the tracks down his cheeks that they had taken before. One strike and he could be free, he could leave and the human race would be saved. But Fuma wouldn't be. Fuma would be dead, lost just as this _Dragon_ was banished. What was the point of a world without Fuma in it? One strike.

He couldn't do it.

The hand on his suddenly tightened and pain sprang up his arm, making him cry out. The sound was lost however as, with a quick movement, the Dragon jerked his arm hard and pulled him upright, straight into the man's arms, his cry of pain suddenly muffled by a hard, possessive kiss. 

He struggled. Pulled back from the overly tight arms around his shoulders then cried out in pain again as the man brushed his teeth over Kamui's lower lip and then bit down hard. Kamui could taste blood. Could taste his own fear in the metallic tasting fluid.

Gently, almost in apology, the Dragon drew back slightly, then licked the blood from Kamui's lips, letting his tongue trace a path up along his jaw and began to suckle at the space below the boy's ear. 

As hard as he could, Kamui was trying to struggle out of the Dragon's arms, trying to remove the iron grip around his shoulders, or move far enough away that those lips couldn't touch him. Unconsciously he sucked on his bottom lip, the sting from the small wound and the taste of blood reminding him to keep fighting. 

And suddenly he was on his back again; the Dragon hovered over him briefly, smiling, and then one of his arms was jerked upwards and slammed against the floor. He screamed.

"Shhh…" The Dragon made the sound as he pressed his lips softly against the boys' neck, "It's not that painful, my Kamui." An amused chuckle, "And you've felt worse from me."

Kamui whimpered, and tried not to move his arm as pure fire raced along the limb from his damaged hand.

"My Kamui…" The Dragon's lips turned upwards in a smile as he ran his tongue down Kamui's neck then paused before sinking his teeth into the junction between his neck and shoulder.

Kamui barely noticed it, his attention solely on working though the pain haze to figure out how to get away now that there was a length of iron, a rusty construction nail that the Dragon had probably wrenched out of one of the much dilapidated walls, pinning his hand to the floor.

The Dragon's lips and teeth were making fiery red marks of pain down Kamui's chest as the boy concentrated on his hand. He'd have to grit his teeth and simply pull it out, he could certainly handle it; he'd handled worse.

 Agony exploded in his hand again and Kamui refocused his eyes and barely made out the Dragon's expressionless face floating above him. Agony exploded again and Kamui realised the Dragon was twisting the nail in his hand.

"Keep your eyes on me, my Kamui. I won't let you be distracted." 

The Dragon's teeth began their gradual; sharply painful journey down Kamui's neck and chest again as the boy remained still, gulping for breath. Gradually the pain in his hand lessened from screaming agony to a sharp throb and the red, pained haze that had covered his thoughts cleared. 

The fire of pain raced through his veins but it was rapidly being overrun by numbness. Hopelessness and resignation created a new fire in him that overrode the pain, dampening it into insignificance. He couldn't resist. The Dragon was determined that the only way Kamui would get free from this was with Fuma's death. Kamui had no doubts the Dragon would encourage him, present him with the perfect opportunities to do the one thing he wouldn't, _couldn't_ do; and all the while enjoying the physical and psychological torture he was putting his captive through. 

Couldn't resist. Couldn't get away without harming the one person who still meant anything to him. 

Slowly but surely, Kamui drifted away from the touches that were growing increasingly painful, retreating within himself; over and over his mind whispered his agony of indecision, of despair. He couldn't hurt Fuma, not even to save the world; a world without Fuma didn't matter, wasn't real. 

His vision went dark and he spiralled. Downwards. Downwards. Ever downwards. Light became absent, dark became darker, sensationless motion dragged him down. Downwards. Darkest black. Black, over black. Had there ever been light? Light?

_Light!_

Kamui bolted upright, his eyes wide, hands groping around him for something, anything to give him the feeling of solidity, anything that would stop that horrible feeling of plummeting into a never-ending downwards spiral of endless black.

His questing hand encountered soft fabric and he immediately pulled the thick blankets up around his naked shoulders, bathing himself in their warmth and comfort.

He was shivering and his skin was damp from sweat as he huddled inside his comfortable cocoon. 

"K…Kamui?" The word was half strangled and was followed by a faint cough and then the voice tried again, stronger. "Kamui?

Kamui's head whipped around and he stared at the speaker. 

_The Dragon_. 

He'd thought it had been a dream, no - a dream of a memory. But there he was, the Dragon, standing not three feet from the foot of his bed. Fear shot through Kamui and he clutched the blankets to him, huddling against the bed's headboard, wishing he could fade through the wall.

"_Kamui_?" 

The Dragon lifted his hand, taking a step closer to the bed, then froze completely as Kamui flinched away, his hand dropping back to his side. His expression looked strange, helpless. 

This wasn't right. Kamui tried to make what he was seeing connect with something familiar. The Dragon was someone who did as he wished; he wasn't supposed to look helpless and uncertain. He wasn't supposed too, but… Kamui lifted his gaze higher, looking into familiar eyes and felt himself relax completely. The Dragon never showed Kamui mercy…but the man he was staring into the eyes of wasn't the Dragon. It was…

"Fuma…" 

The man started at the sound of his name then hesitantly stepped forward, his steps continuing and bringing him to the side of Kamui's bed when the boy didn't react badly.

"Fuma…I'm sorry. I'm sorry."

Kamui was immediately engulfed in warmth as Fuma wrapped his arms around the boy's shoulders and pulled him tightly against his chest. 

"Don't be sorry…don't be. It's my fault. I'm sorry, Kamui. It's all my fault. I tried to wake you – I _tried_, but you wouldn't let me near you. I'm sorry, so sorry."

Kamui let his hands bury themselves into the fabric of Fuma's shirt and concentrated on breathing in the smell of the man he'd missed so much. The sound of Fuma's voice, apologising softly, comforted him in a way even the strong arms wrapped around him couldn't. The man that said these words's wasn't going to harm him; wasn't going to turn violent when it was least expected. But…it didn't change the fact that he was taking the blame. Taking the blame for everything that had happened to Kamui at the hands of the Dragon. Everything. 

Kamui gulped in a breath that was almost a sob. It was just like Fuma, to take the blame for something that wasn't his fault. If anyone, Kamui knew that the acts of the Dragon would never be the acts of Fuma; but how could he say it and make the other man believe it?

"Fuma…" Kamui spoke quietly, but Fuma froze immediately, his grip around Kamui's shoulders loosening slightly.

"Fuma, it's not…you didn't…" The boy looked up at the other man, trying to make him accept the words that he said, "It wasn't _you_."

Fuma flinched and looked away, his arms slipping from Kamui's shoulders completely, "It _was_ me. I may have been different, but it was still me. _I_ was the one who did those things. _Me_."

"Fuma!" Kamui tightened his grip on Fuma's shirt and pulled him back towards him, forcing the man to face him again. "Fuma. Would you do it now?! _Do you want to hurt me now_?!"

"_NO_!" Fuma's head came up to stare at Kamui and he gripped Kamui's shoulders tightly, "No, I would _never_, I couldn't hurt you. I…"

"Then it wasn't you." Kamui said firmly, his eyes challenging Fuma to disagree again.

"Kamui…" Fuma began, but cut off abruptly as, with an irritated sound, Kamui yanked on Fuma's shirt, pulling him down to a reachable level, and kissed him firmly.

He didn't let go until he felt like his lungs were going to explode for want of air, and then he only moved away slightly, his face still close to Fuma's and their lips still brushing lightly as they breathed.

He liked this, being close to this man. It felt warm, comforting. 

"I trust you." Kamui whispered the words against Fuma's lips and he felt the man's sudden intake of breath as he heard them. "No matter what, Fuma, _I trust you_."

"Kamui…" Fuma pulled away from the boy slightly, his hand coming to lie along the side of his face as he looked into his eyes. After a moment, Kamui could see the dawn of understanding in the man's eyes as he realised what Kamui was saying was absolute truth. 

Then he smiled.

It was a sad smile, but it was a smile of acceptance. No matter what he himself thought, he now knew what _Kamui_ thought, and Kamui didn't blame him.

End~

_After note_: Wow. That stuck pretty much to my dream (with exception for gaps filled in with pointless dialogue and a few bits that really didn't seem to matter while I was asleep and became glaringly important when I was writing this). … Except in my dream Yukito-san and Touya-san from Card Captor Sakura showed up and Touya-san glomped Fuma-sama screaming about finally finding his long-lost brother and they started crying on each other in the corner and then Yukito-san got jealous, transformed into Yue and zapped everyone, made a hole in the roof and it started raining on them. O_o.

Sap overdose – I'm gonna _digh_! Did I mention that SAP fiks are actually one of my most hated types of fik? I _loathe_ them. I can't stand reading them. So why _did_ I write this? **_I don't know!!!_** Call it insanity. Insanity is good – I'm guilty of it already so it's _no problem_. I'm still stuck being the author of this Fik however.

*_sigh_* Oh well – I guess the only thing I can do now is apologise and sign out. Gomen nasi – Arigatou – Sayonara. 

*waves at Ji-chan and Evil_ptr with decapitated head* Nibble, nibble. *smirk*

(Misc stats. This fik took almost exactly one year to write from start to finish (I started writing it on the 13th of Feb 2003). I suck at SAP. Seriously. I got so mad at this fik for being so incredibly fluffy that I hid it and only finished it because I suddenly got a bug this morning and it just seemed to fall into place.)

This is Sa (of SaJi) signing out.


End file.
